James.k.Polk wrote:What the serious fuck.
I just woke up, 2:00 am. I had a variant of the "big maze-like house" dream. It's a dream where I own or am buying a house that is weirdly huge. Usually the house, or at least part of it, is piled high with trash like broken furniture, or some other obstacles. Lately the house has been mostly empty.
This time the house is mostly empty. My ex-wife and iIshare the house even though she has already ended our relationship. There's a lot of nothing plot about finding a bathroom to pee in, having shower before bed, that sort of thing.
My ex takes shower before retiring. Afterwards, I am somehow given the idea that she wants some of my attention, if you get my meaning, and I go with her to her bedroom.
Only now the house is my mom's place. We've arranged for her to sleep in the master bedroom and I tale the much smaller middle room. But no. She has disassembled my bed, shoved it into a hallway, and moved all her shit into my humble space in what is already My home, not hers.
I Fucking lose it. I'm screaming, ranting at her. It isn't enough she ends our marriage and stays in my home, she has to muscle me out of the little space I'd set aside for myself.
I check the bigger bedroom and find out she's started tearing it down for remodeling.
I'm raging. I spend probably an hour loudly screaming at her, telling her she's not welcome here, she'll never take possession of my mom's house. That she should just Fucking get lost...
Its been fifteen years. Why does this woman still live in my dream house? Why do I have the big maze-like house dream to begin with?
I'm afraid the house represents my own mind. That the clutter indicates that my brain is cluttered and unlivable. That my own subconscious is trying to warn me that I'm going to degenerate quickly into a senile old man.
And Dammit my ex wife does not get to live there.
I'm not any good at dream analysis, but I know the feeling of waking from a shitty dream that stirs up shit from the past. I hope you're feeling better.